Birth story - Sarah and baby Rémi

*Trigger warning* - use of the word "faint" but I didn't faint!

A bit of background

I have a very low pain threshold and I also faint very easily so I have always been quite anxious about giving birth but never really talked about it with anyone. When I was pregnant with my first son, I read a book about hypnobirthing which definitely helped me stay calm and believe my body was strong enough to handle giving birth. I was also anxious about giving birth because I am British and living in France where birth is much more medicalised, plus, I was worried about something happening and me not understanding the language.

My first birth was straight forward, I laboured in the hospital through the night till around 9.30am when I was around 6cm dilated and asked for an epidural. I gave birth in the afternoon and it was incredible. I would have preferred not to have an epidural but I hadn't eaten or had anything to drink for over 12 hours (snacks are strongly advised against in the hospital) and every time a midwife came into our room, she asked me to rate my pain level on a scale of 1 to 10 which, looking back now, didn't help me mentally.

When I found out I was pregnant again, I knew I wanted to learn more about hypnobirthing and came across PBC online. Forever grateful I did! I loved doing the course and felt so much more confident in the build up to giving birth this time round. I listened to the positive affirmations, practised up-breathing and read amazing birth stories on the facebook group almost every day in the weeks running up to the birth.

With my first pregnancy, I started having Braxton Hicks from week 29 and was put on bedrest from week 31 because the baby was low down. With this pregnancy, the Braxton Hicks started even earlier (week 24) so I was quite anxious about being put on bedrest again but thankfully I gave birth at 39 weeks and 6 days and was slow but active until the end.

Labour

At 1.33am I had my first surge then another at 1.45am and my husband woke up. Then my 2 and a half year old son Lucas woke up calling for me so I went into his room and laid with him for maybe 4 surges then once he was asleep again I came out of his room and accepted that I was definitely in labour. At 2.58am I started my playlist and the Freya app. We waited for one more surge and it was a bit closer (8 mins) so my husband called his parents to tell them to make their way over to take of Lucas. My waters broke just before 3.30am (my husband text his mum to say I was in labour for sure and they were already well on their way). I was excited when they broke because it didn't happen when Lucas was born. There was some washing drying next to the bed (mostly lots of towels!) so I started drying the floor and got clean sheets out thinking that my in-laws would sleep in the bed once they got here. But I then realised that my waters breaking would mean the surges would be more intense now. When the next surge came, I got back on all fours on the bed. It was definitely more intense! More water came out so I continued trying to mop up but there was just too much so I decided at that point that my in-laws probably wouldn't want to sleep in the bed .

The surges were now around 4/5 minutes apart. I had 3 surges after my waters broke and then I couldn't use the Freya app any more, I also turned off my playlist. I just needed silence to help me concentrate but the surges were so intense that I lost my rhythm with the up-breathing yet still felt calm. I then remembered that I needed to put a sanitary towel on to check my waters so went into the toilet. By this point, Lucas was awake again and dancing around in the bathroom where my husband was getting dressed. Lucas saw me go into the toilet so followed me in there and started talking to me excitedly. I couldn't really talk and had the most intense surge. I got onto all fours on the toilet floor and thought to myself that natural birth is not for me and as soon as I get to the hospital, I would ask for an epidural! As soon as the surge was over, I went quickly back into the bedroom, walking past my mother-in-law who had arrived by that point. I just wanted to be in the dark and quiet and get back onto my bed.

Meanwhile my husband was busy packing the car: bag prepped full of fairy lights, snacks, room spray, water and energy drink, yoga ball...everything I wanted in order to have a peaceful birth in hospital. Once back in my bedroom, I remember that I had some of the positive affirmations swirling around in my head although I can't remember which ones now. The next surge felt different and I started to feel pressure downwards and the need to push. I had maybe one or two more surges, the pressure was increasing and all I wanted to do was push. I started to feel so hot and wanted to take my shorts and pants off but couldn't quite get myself together to do much other than try to breathe through the surges.

My mother-in-law asked me if she should call an ambulance and I said yes. I could vaguely hear her in the background replying to questions about the frequency of my surges and her telling the person on the other end that I was already pushing! My husband then came back and said that I could go and get in the car now to which I replied that I couldn't go anywhere because I wanted to push. The physical pressure was so intense at this point that I totally lost it with the breathing and then started mooing (I remember thinking at this point "yay, I'm mooing like the women in the birth stories!). I surprised myself by how much noise I was making. I wouldn't say that this part was painful, it was just so very intense and really felt like I wanted to vomit downwards.

My husband came into the room with me and at that moment our son started crying out for his Daddy which was hard to hear. François reassured him then I had a break between surges so I told François to remind me to do the down breathing because I was aware that I was actively pushing rather than letting my body take over. He was great at encouraging me and was kissing my shoulder and reminding me to do the down breathing which helped so much! I kept feeling between my legs and could tell that my baby's head was coming further down with each surge. Then with the next surge, my baby's head came out. The ring of fire was real but over so quickly and I was so happy at this point, there was such a release of pressure and I knew it was nearly over. My husband panicked at this point asking me if he should get his mum or pull the baby out so I told him to get ready to catch the baby with the next surge and at 4.11am our Remi was born!

François put Remi on me straight away and we got the delayed cord-cutting that we wanted as the first team of emergency services arrived 5 minutes after Remi was born and then a few minutes later two doctors arrived as well so soon enough there were 6 strangers in our bedroom sharing this intimate moment with us!

The next couple of hours were not ideal as the placenta took a very long time to come out (I didn't think to ask for the injection nor was I offered it) and we were all stuck in the ambulance for a while waiting for the doctor to find a hospital that would take us. But I'm so thankful that our baby was okay and that I gave birth at home.

During this time in France, women were expected to give birth wearing a mask because of Covid and the hospital I was scheduled to give birth in was in the middle of a midwife strike so I was quite anxious about giving birth in the hospital.

I will be forever grateful to Siobhan, the PBC and for every single person who shared their birth stories for enabling us to have such a positive birth experience. Thank you so much!!!!