How do midwives view a positive birth?
Positive births can be the result of ALL types of birth. People frequently report positive experiences from emergency caesareans, forceps, unmedicated vaginal births and every other type of birth. You may ask how?
Well, it’s quite simple really. To have a positive birth, the key is for women and people to feel respected, listened to, consulted and informed enough to have the power and freedom to make the choices THEY want for themselves and their baby. The way they are spoken to and treated during birth is JUST AS IMPORTANT as the actual mode of delivery.
I am glad to see that we are finally moving away from the phrase ‘a healthy baby is all that matters‘. This regularly touted phrase has long silenced people’s disappointment and distress by papering over the cracks that a difficult birth often leaves behind. When a new parent feels depressed, traumatised and dispirited about their birth, this will undoubtedly affect the complex interaction between their body and baby going forward.
On the flip side, women who have been given as much control and autonomy as possible with their births report starting their journey into parenthood feeling strong, capable and empowered. Yes, 100% a healthy baby is always at the top of the list of outcomes, but also YES a mother's feelings about her birth matter.
You might be thinking that this all sounds like a good idea, but in practice it’s not so easy. When you’re sitting in front of an intimidating surgeon or a midwife that you feel doesn’t quite get you, it’s hard to be completely clear-minded and remain in control. Especially if it’s your first baby, the birthing world probably isn’t that familiar to you.
Here are some tips to navigate these situations and ensure you are respected, listened to and ultimately make the right choices for you and your baby:
Know what to expect from each appointment so that you can prepare for certain conversations. You can research the standard appointments to expect in advance and then at the end of every appointment, ask what will be discussed at the following appointment.
Do your research before each appointment so that you have some level of knowledge and perhaps an idea of your preferences around different topics that will come up. This is where an online antenatal course like the Hypnobirthing Pack is really great as you can go back to watch sections as they become more relevant to you.
Ask questions. Write down questions in advance and take your time to check they’re covered. And just to be sure, at the end of the appointment, ask if there is a number you can call if you have further questions on any particularly important decisions.
Ask for statistics that underpin any advice you are being given. This will help you process what the potential risk means to you.
Honesty is the best policy! Your care should be personalised and underpinned by your choice. So express your thoughts and fears and make sure you verbalise your wishes.
You can always change your mind. Again, it’s your choice. Even if you have a procedure booked for instance, if you use your BRAIN and decide it isn’t right for you, that is OK and you can change your mind.
I recently held up a placard at a demonstration saying ‘birth matters’. It’s a huge event that most people go on to remember for many years. People giving birth should be given the utmost respect and being in control of your decisions is what makes for a positive birth.