Birth story - Stephanie and baby Marigold

Going into this labor and delivery, since I’d done it twice before, I really wanted something to switch things up. Both of my previous labors and deliveries were natural and very positive, but this time I wanted to try something a little different just so I could look forward to birthing another baby. I was honestly dreading going through transition and pushing again, and I needed something to get me out of that rut. So I’m thrilled a friend recommended the PBC when I was around 30 weeks. It was exactly what I needed as a refresher on everything birth-related, and it got me, dare I say, excited for what was to come! It was exactly the birth pep talk and prep I needed!

I woke around 8am on my due date, a Sunday morning, and noticed the tiniest bit of spotting when wiping during my morning pee-stop. Since bleeding is always a trigger for me (hello previous miscarriage and infertility!), I reached out to my doula immediately and asked her if that was normal. She said, "Oh yes!" and agreed that this was a sign baby was probably starting to make moves. By 8:30am I noticed I was probably having a few surges, and that I guess I had actually felt some crampy ones during the night but wasn't really with it enough to realize what was going on until now. This was surely a good sign that things were really happening!

While we sat down to breakfast, my husband, John, received a text from my OB, Dr. H. She had taken me as a private patient and had basically guaranteed, barring a random emergency or coincidence, that she would be there to deliver my baby. We loved working with her during the pregnancy, she was totally on board with the birth plan, and we were excited to have her there for baby's arrival. But on the morning I start to feel surges, she texts to say that it's her birthday and she will be at a family party from 4-10pm, not able to deliver during that time. My heart sank. Now I was on some sort of weird clock, where I could either deliver before 4pm, after 10pm, or just take whoever showed up to deliver me between those hours . . . with no actual control over any of it. So we did the only thing we could do and just surrendered to God's will and did our best to put it out of our minds.

Since the surges were super mild and very random with no discernible pattern, we decided to go to Church at 10am. Which, thinking about it now, was a GREAT way to start labor. Oh the graces I'm sure I received. 🙂

During Church, I probably had 3 mild surges, and while hanging out with Church friends for about an hour after, probably 3 or so more. Nothing too serious, and the company of God and friends was a great distraction!

We decided to get drive through food for lunch. By the time lunch ended, surges were starting to pick up. Not enough to head to the hospital yet, but enough to know this was probably the real thing. This was around 1pm. I texted Wendy, our doula, with a Freya screen shot and let her know if contractions continued in this pattern (they were about 1 minute each, with 3 minutes between), we'd be headed to the hospital within the hour.

I put John on boy-nap duty (we have an almost 4-year-old and a 2-year-old) and sent him upstairs to get the boys sleeping. Before they went up, I hugged them both so close and said a most tearful goodbye. I'm not a weepy, emotional person typically, but knowing that I probably wasn't going to see them again without a new baby sibling, AKA a huge family change, made me tear up.

They headed up the stairs and I got to work putting together the rest of the hospital bag and getting things ready to load up in the car.

It didn't take long for surges to get real serious. Perhaps it was being on my feet and moving a bunch of stuff around, or maybe it was knowing the boys were taken care of and I could let go of that responsibility, but something put my body into gear.

I had turned off the sound on Freya until this point because I didn’t really feel I needed the up-breathing through the milder surges. But now, as surges were getting stronger, I needed to be sure my oxygen was still flowing well, so I turned on the feature. And it was immeasurably helpful at keeping me calm!

At 1:32pm, I texted my mother-in-law to let her know to head our way to watch our boys. John still had to pack his hospital bag, so I labored through some longer and stronger surges (about 1.5 minutes long each and 3 minutes apart) while he scrambled to throw his things together. I listened to the up-breathing counter on the app and walked loops around my family room, kitchen, and sun room. He finally emerged from the second floor and then furiously started bringing our stuff out to the car. During this time, I had two surges right on top of each other and knew it was really time to go.

I had John put a TENS unit on my back to help me get through these more intense surges. I was especially hoping the TENS would help with surges while stuck in a seated position in the car.

At 1:52pm, we texted Wendy that we were headed to the hospital. And then we were off!

The car ride was a short one. We chose a different doctor and a different hospital this time because we knew I wouldn't be able to handle a long ride in. And am I ever so glad we made that decision! 13 minutes door to door. I could handle that. And as it turns out, my body got the memo that car surges are no fun, so it spaced them out and made them very mild for me for the whole ride in. Thanks, self!

We arrived around 2:05pm and walked straight in. We had a quick check-in at the main desk, where I had a few surges and just paced and boosted my TENS unit and listened to my up-breathing through them. Since I had pre-registered, we were only there a few minutes, thank goodness.

The kind receptionist walked us back to our room at 2:15pm. We completely skipped triage, I think because my husband works at this hospital and they were pulling us some major faves. It was awesome.

We got into the room and I stripped down to be checked. My first cervical check all pregnancy! I had no idea what to expect and even joked that I was probably just a few centimeters and even if that was the case, it would be totally fine. I was just going with my body's flow.

Wendy walked in around 2:30pm, just as our nurse was about to check me. It took a few surges to time it right. They were coming closer and closer and were definitely hard to sit through, so I waited until one just ended, hopped on the bed, and got ready for that cervical check, hoping it would be done before the next surge hit.

You can imagine my shock when the nurse announced, "8cm, 75% effaced, with bulging bag of waters." ALL THE SHOCK EYE EMOJIS. 8cm?! And I was still laughing and hanging out between contractions? I still can barely believe it!!

John texted Dr. H, as it was still well before 4pm and we thought since I was so far progressed, there was a good chance baby would be arriving before she'd have to be at her birthday party. It's amazing what can happen when you surrender to God's will. 😉

Wendy mentioned, "I think this is going to be fast once that water breaks!" And so we went to work getting the surges to progress.

I found a cozy spot next to the bed and would just stand there chatting and sipping electrolyte water, waiting for surges to start. As soon as they did, I'd announce it, hit the boost button on the TENS, and then have John stand in front of me as I slow danced with him and sort of squatted into the intensity of the wave. At first, I was actually really tightening my legs closed because I did not like the sensation that squatting was causing. But Wendy reminded me that that sensation was the one that would get me progressing faster and closer to meeting my baby, so while I was so hesitant to squat much, I started to go for it. First little tiny squats, and then as surges got more intense, bigger squats that came on with big moaning sounds that I couldn't control. I would breathe in for 4, and then MOOOAANNNNN out for 8. It was hard work, but it was working!

It was probably just 5 surges like that, and then my water popped while I was squatting and moaning into a big one. It was approximately 3pm. I looked down and saw a few drips of blood mixed in and Wendy reassured me it was totally fine. She ran out of the room to alert the nurses. While she was out of the room, it felt like I was peeing everywhere, which I apologized to John for, but he said, "That's your water, babe!" Ha! That made more sense.

Dr. H still hadn't arrived, but soon the room filled with nurses and a resident doctor and a few assistants. They knew this thing was happening and fast.

At this point, all control went out the window and with the next surge, I was just screaming and pushing. Not voluntary pushing, just straight up my-body-pushing-out-a-baby-on-its-own pushing. And I was still standing and leaning on John at this point. I recall thinking about throwing myself into another position, like hands and knees, but it was just too late. So I leaned hard into John and just kept screaming and involuntarily pushing. I felt the biggest pressure on my bum, which was insanely intense, but I knew that meant baby was making way into the birth canal, and fast!

Within seconds, I felt baby's head. I felt that familiar burn and at this moment, I stood as tall as a woman with a crowning baby could stand to slow things down. I remember saying, “ow ow ow ow" and sloppily breathing through it. It wasn't long before I felt the immediate relief of baby's head making its way completely out. I announced, "Head is out!" because at this point I was still standing and afraid no one was prepared to catch! Pretty sure half the room had their hands under me and at the ready at this point, but my eyes were closed so tight, I had no idea what was really going on around me.

Soon I felt the burn again as shoulders made their way through, and then immediate relief again. And as the rest of baby's body slid out and the resident and nurse caught baby, Dr. H walked into the room. She was able to witness the feet being born. 😛

They passed baby up to me through my legs and announced baby's arrival as 3:02pm. From water breaking to birth was approximately 2 minute's time. And not a single voluntary push from me. Just insane.

I held baby close and walked over to sit on the bed. Sweet relaxation! Baby was still attached, so I was having trouble seeing between the legs to find out if we had a boy or a girl. I made my best effort and saw the umbilical cord, which made me think penis. So for a second I was thinking boy. But when I told the nurse I couldn't exactly tell, she peeked for me and said, YOU HAVE A GIRL! And John and I both exclaimed and giggled and just couldn't believe it!!

Me and baby girl relaxed back into the bed and started snuggling and getting to know each other. Once the cord stopped pulsing, John was able to cut it and I was able to pull baby girl all the way up into my arms. And then we spent the next hour doing skin-to-skin and attempting to get baby girl to latch. I even had the wherewithal to wish Dr. H a happy birthday! And she responded, "This is a fun birthday!" It was truly sweet of her to come in on her day off and birthday, no less, to welcome our little bundle!

After that golden hour, we weighed and measured our baby girl, and she shocked the whole room by being over 8lb. The official weight was 8lb 2 oz, and length was 21 inches. Our biggest baby yet!

The placenta took its sweet time to detach, about an hour, but it eventually did without pitocin and it was healthy looking and there in its entirety.

Dr. H sewed up my 2nd degree tear, which I continued to do my up-breathing through (seriously, why can’t they numb that area a little better??). I've come to accept that I may always tear a little, and that is ok, as the perineum is designed to stretch and tear and repair quickly. Wendy even mentioned that red heads are more likely to tear for whatever reason, so it did make it easier to hear that and just accept it as my fate. Recovery is already off to a good start!

Soon the room cleared and we spent the next day snuggling our sweet girl, picking out her name, breastfeeding, announcing her arrival to loved ones . . . all the fun stuff!

And so ends the tale of Miss Margo's grand arrival! In the weeks leading up to her birth, we prayed for a joyful, peaceful, safe delivery. I would say it truly was all of those things, plus a little crazy there too. 🙂 I wouldn't have it any other way. And a huge thanks to the PBC and Freya for making it possible!