Birth story - Rebecca and baby boy

*Trigger warning* - mentions a graze and PPD/PPA

My second (home) birth story in here... Thanks to PBC for equipping me so well for both! 😍

PREGNANCY:

My pregnancy was pretty straightforward overall. I'm very lucky that – like my first pregnancy – we fell pregnant on the first try. The nausea was nowhere near as bad this time either, but pregnancy tiredness with a toddler hit altogether differently 🥴

I also had a few more "medical" issues this time – permanent thrush from about three months, horrific acid reflux from 33 weeks (baby turned right way up; I went on Omeprazole), constant rashes/boils in my groin area that made it super hard to walk long distances, and then quite a lot of hip pain in the latter stages. I also picked up the worst cold of my life at 37 weeks – alongside a very sore throat and blocked sinuses, I had a horrible chest infection and was coughing up blood–speckled plaques. Doing this with a pregnant belly was hell and I pulled a few muscles in my abs. I'm just over eight weeks PP now and I still have some soreness in my right-hand side from it!

Other than that, all checks went well, and I had a "textbook" pregnancy, which I know I'm super lucky to experience. I was just so glad the nausea wasn't as bad this time around... It was pretty debilitating with my first, who was born March 2021.

LEAD UP:

My first son was born at 40+3 and as everything had been pretty smooth sailing, I knew I was likely looking at the same sort of gestation, if not a bit later. I didn't finish work until I was 39+1 and I had people saying then that I was "leaving it late". Yeah, well, I could have worked another two weeks by the time this one showed up! 🤣

I went to my midwife appointment at 40+6, where I had already decided I'd accept a sweep if I was favourable. Unfortunately, the head wasn't engaged (common in non–first pregnancies), so, that didn't happen. I had felt some tightenings off and on for the previous few days, so I was a bit gutted... But also pleased I had a midwife who was willing to not interfere when baby wasn't ready 👍

However, she did say she had to book me in at the induction ward on 41+5, and to call on that day if I hadn't had baby yet. She made it clear though – probably knowing I was very head strong about my home birth plans – that I didn't have to accept it, and that it could just be a conversation. But yes, I would have likely not accepted... Not that it matters now anyway!

PRE-LABOUR:

On the Friday, my toddler (20 months old at the time) was picked up in the morning by my Stepmum – a normal childcare arrangement where he spends the day/night with her and my Dad, usually being returned on the Saturday morning.

However – and very helpfully – she offered to have him until Sunday afternoon, which we gladly accepted.

After he was gone, me and the other half tried to get things moving (😉) as we had done pretty much every day since I went on maternity leave, then spent the rest of the day watching films/sleeping.

On the Saturday, as there was still no movement, we headed to a birthday party of a friend's child, about 30 minutes away, mainly to get out of the house. We then went for lunch closer to home and, as we were leaving, I started feeling my legs go a bit "weird" – a combination of them occasionally not working, and then shooting pains down the insides. Knowing this was an early indicator of labour with my first (yes, FINALLY!!!), I recommended we head home, taking a very slow (and short-stepped 🤣) walk back to the car.

At home that evening, to capitalise on what I thought was coming, I jogged around the house, bounced on my ball and took the stairs lots, feeling my first period pain–like cramp while watching Strictly Come Dancing 💃 The cramps were very mild and inconsistent for the rest of the night, and I sent my other half to bed to rest, in case things got going in the night...

...which they did, but also didn't. Did, in that I felt my first "proper" contraction at 1am, after which I went for a wee and had my bloody show, and didn't, in that things didn't escalate much further – as such I managed to sleep/dose through this early bit.

BIRTH:

The next morning (so now the Sunday), I got up around 8am, with my contractions now getting more intense – however, not all that regular, so, I felt we had a bit of a way to go. Nonetheless, my partner got the birth pool ready, and threw a heat cover over it – we could adjust the temperature when needed.

As I was stopping to breathe through the contractions, my partner was like: "Are you sure you don't want to call the midwives?" This is because with my first birth, it was almost a ‘born before arrival’ (BBA) as it turns out I cope with contractions pretty well. But, I just felt things weren't progressing yet... ⏰

Lo and behold, by noon, my contractions had stopped entirely. Feeling a bit disheartened, I proposed a walk, which totally did the trick – I had to stop at least six times for contractions that were intense, and long... We even had someone come out of their house to ask what we were doing because I had stopped outside it while doing some heavy breathing – I think they thought we were going to break in! 🕵️

Back at home (now about 1:30pm), we put a film on, but I barely watched it as I suddenly got very tired. I put my head down for an hour and, knowing what I know now, I was definitely charging up! When I woke up, I was confident – things are DEFINITELY happening.

I called the midwives at 4pm and, delightfully, unlike my first (in-the-depths-of-COVID) birth, I had no fight to put up. She said someone would call me soon, and, at 4:30pm, a lovely midwife called Laura did just that, saying she was on her way and would be about 30 minutes. I told her I was coping well so she didn't need to rush.

In the meantime, the pool was up to temperature and I got in (on that, I've never had any fear of the "contractions slowing down in the pool" thing (I'm not sure where they get that?) and the relief is so instant... GET IN THE POOL IF YOU WANT). I put The Social Network on my phone to watch and continued to breathe through my contractions when they came.

At 5pm, Laura arrived and got settled. Now, I had been dreading being asked for a VE because as that was one of the WORST parts of my first birth (also, FTM naivety... I knew I was fully dilated so should have turned it down at the time) and, of course I could have turned it down this time. But, luckily, Laura never asked – she was quite confident just watching and listening, she said. Happy days!

She did her first checks and noted both my temperature and baby's heart rate were "just shy" of the threshold for transferring in. She did say: "We would REQUEST that you go in if they get any higher"... But, luckily, both settled so the conversation didn't need to happen (wouldn't have gone anyway!) 😜

I'm sketchy on timings as I really did just get in the zone. However, at some point, Laura mentioned that the second midwife was on her way, and would be about 45 minutes. I remember thinking: "I bet she's right on time..."

Contractions then started getting very painful, and very close together. I kept moving in-between sitting on my bum and leaning my head back, to being on my knees and leaning over the side. In the meantime, The Social Network had finished and I was now on the new series of Dead to Me – but I barely saw any of it as soon after, I started pushing, feeling a whole heap of pressure in my bum and pelvis. I had asked for gas and air a few times by now, but Laura was struggling with attaching the hose to the canister. Trying not to panic, I remained patient... but my darling boyfriend came to the rescue and managed to fix it! 😍

Keeping calm, and using the gas and air, I reacted to each contraction, pushing and breathing. On one of the more productive pushes, our doorbell went – the second midwife was here, to which the first one said: "You, my dear, you are right on time." In my head, I went: "That's what I said!" She just managed to put her stuff down and get some gloves on when I felt my waters go and the start of baby's head crowning.

Now, I definitely started to lose it here slightly. With my first birth, I rushed the last bit, and he flew out (no ring of fire), leaving me with a second-degree tear (but not horrific), and I actually remember saying: "Was that it?" Well HA HA HA, karma found me! Trying to do it properly this time – slow pushes, full stretching – I felt it all, and OH MY DEAR LORD DID I FEEL IT. Screaming "OW" a number of times, I was sure the head was out, as I was in so much pain, so, I kept asking: "Is that the head, is that the head?" The midwives said they couldn't see because the room was dark and there were shadows over the pool. So, bless my boyfriend – as I had my eyes closed the whole time, he came right up to my ear and said quietly and calmly: "That's the head babe." With that motivation, and the next contraction, I delivered the rest of the body, catching my (much larger than expected, and very slippery) son, who cried straight away. And I took a HUGE sigh of relief – it was over, and pretty quickly! 👏👏👏

POST-BIRTH:

We remained in the pool as we waited for the cord to stop pulsing. As with my previous pregnancy, the cord was short, so I couldn't move my son too much (which is annoying as I'm tall), but I managed to get him breastfeeding pretty quick – a cracking latch, too.

While I was enjoying it all, I was definitely in a bit of shock – the whole thing had been so much more intense and visceral than my first birth. My vagina was on fire and I honestly thought – especially as there was blood in the pool, and he was nearly 9lb – that I had done myself some serious damage. I was pretty wobbly! 🤯

Once the cord was cut, I got out of the pool, and was led to the shower curtain-covered sofa, still very shaky and in shock. However, I continued to feed, eating sweets and drinking water. This feeding bit was something I was really strict on this time – with my previous birth I had to transfer in due to retained placenta, despite being given the injection and, having analysed everything a bit, me and my son were definitely split up quicker than we should have been. So, I was going to keep this baby attached to my boob as long as needed to get rid of the placenta naturally, not accepting the injection. And, yay, it worked! I pushed it out, in two pieces, about 20 minutes after birth – it was HUGE, just like with my first. I kept feeding for a while after this – and man, everything you have heard is true... the afterpains are awful (mine finally went five days post-birth though – lots of ibuprofen helps!)

I handed the baby over to my other half while I was examined, continuing to puff on the gas and air. Convinced I'd need stitches due to the pain, the blood in the pool and the kid's size, I knew there was still a chance we might have to transfer in. But, fantastically, all I had was a graze! 😱😱😱 I honestly couldn't believe it, and I gave myself a huge pat on the back – placenta delivered naturally AND no tears/stitches, which meant we could stay at home! (If you're wondering, they think the blood in the pool was just "standard" birth bleeding, noting it as less than 250ml. So, a reminder all birth pool water looks different, and for different reasons – i.e., blood does not automatically equal a tear!)

As the midwives packed up, they said the only thing they needed me to do before they left was try and go for a wee. Well, that wasn't too nice either 😩 the ammonia stinging my graze so much that it actually made me shake and feel nauseous, so I had lots of cold water wees over the next couple of weeks! After they left, I stayed snuggled up with/feeding baby, texting family/friends while my other half tidied up/emptied the pool. I was okay, but still a bit dizzy/not with it for quite a few hours – the shock (plus my still-burning vagina and intense afterpains) definitely got me this time! 🤢🤣

RECOVERY:

As the birth went so smoothly, overall, I felt pretty much back to normal within 5-6 days – I can't lie though – before that, I felt I had been hit by a bus, a similar feeling to a really intense workout (x 100, of course) 💪

Mentally, though – and unlike with my first birth – I suffered a pretty serious bout of PPD/PPA about two weeks in. Lasting about four weeks, I couldn't really eat and I barely slept – my heart was racing the whole time. However, with lots of support from family and friends (including a truly outstanding boyfriend), and medication, the last two weeks have been better. It helps that our eldest loves his little brother so much, constantly showering him with kisses and going "ahhh" and stroking his tummy when he cries. It's so lovely seeing them together 😍

Our family is now complete – I am not a fan of pregnancy, me, and I'm not sure I could deal with any more than two children at once (PPA/PPD aside), so, kudos to those of you with three or more... you are MUCH stronger women than me! 😌

However, I have had two beautiful – and successful – home births and PBC has been instrumental in that!

Women are goddesses. Fact. Anyone reading this expecting their own – you have TOTALLY got this. Believe in yourself, stay calm, and enjoy it. I know I have mentioned how painful this one was quite a lot, but I feel like an absolute BADASS getting through it, and it's true – it's SO worth it and over before you know it. You'll forget in time, too! 🫶

Just get prepared – do all the reading and all the PBC practice. You'll be so glad you did! 😁