Birth story - Nia and baby boy

I really enjoyed pregnancy and apart from a bit of sciatica I was pretty comfortable until the end. After a night of itchy hands, feet and belly I was diagnosed with obstetric cholestasis at 37 weeks, but it was very mild. It was recommended that I should give birth in hospital, but after looking at all the research that my wonderful midwife Rach had done, (who was also the midwife in my last pregnancy), I decided to go ahead with my home birth on the condition my bloodwork kept coming back ok and that I would be induced at 40 weeks.

For any other parents nervous of going into labour again after a previous difficult time (a very long latent phase, followed by episiotomy and forceps), I would definitely recommend going through your previous birth notes with your midwife. We did this with Rach and it was almost like a form of therapy for both of us. We had so many questions that we weren't in a place to ask at the time, so having the chance to ask them and have clarity of what happened and why really put us in a good place to feel more positive about the upcoming birth.

I had my first contraction bang on 39 weeks so was excited that I was going to get my home birth. After that however, contractions came and went for the next six days. I got on with daily life, but on several occasions we sent our 3 year old to the grandparents and filled the birthing pool thinking it was go time, only to have the contractions disappear again. We went on lots of walks, which brought them closer together, but they would then fizzle out once we got home. Although it was frustrating, Joby and I had a few lovely evenings playing Monopoly deal, watching films and trying to dance the baby out.

I had intended on pushing my induction back but by 40 weeks I was ready to be induced. On the day of induction I was told it was being delayed until the next day, at this point I was pretty fed up as I was struggling to empty my bladder which was really painful. I went into hospital (which is 50mins of very windy country roads) for monitoring and was pretty upset and anxious that history was repeating itself but the midwives were really encouraging at the hospital and made me feel more optimistic for my induction the next day. I asked to be examined but the midwife suggested it wouldn't be helpful as I wasn't going to be induced until the following day, which was definitely good advice. Rach also came round that evening and was exactly who I needed to see. She really calmed me down with lots of encouraging words and brought aromatherapy oils with her teaching Joby some pressure points. She told us to put some comedy on, relax for the evening and have a cuddle.

I ended up getting in the pool on all fours to help the baby's possition and we watched a film. It was one of the hottest nights of the year and Joby said it was the happiest he had seen me all week, in a pool of tepid water in our living room. I managed a good night sleep and went to hospital feeling excited. I really believe that my labour could have gone very differently if I had been induced on the planned day as I was so much more possitive after Rach's visit and getting a good night's sleep (in-between a few contractions through the night). It felt quite strange getting ready to go to the hospital knowing we would be coming home with the baby and my mum came round that morning to give me a hug before we left.

Once at the hospital I was a bit apprehensive that I was going to be examined and find that I hadn't been dilating over the last six days (which is what had happened with the birth of my first), but much to my relief they said I was 4 cm dilated and in active labour, they were happy to leave me for a few hours to see if my waters broke on their own, but I asked to have them broken. I started to worry that the rest of the labour was going to be long and difficult like last time, so requested an epidural. However my midwife Lisa was fantastic, and she asked to see my birth preferences. She saw I had originally wanted a water birth so asked if I would like the room with the pool so it was still an option. She read me all the epidural warnings so that it could be administered if I wanted it, but she was so encouraging and keen for me to use the pool as pain relief. She did a wonderful job of trying to keep me up and mobile whilst I was being monitored before I was allowed in the pool. I had prepared for a bit of a fight to not have continuous monitoring due to the cholestasis (I found it very frustrating last time), but Lisa was a great advocate for me with the doctor, who was content with just half an hour monitoring once my waters had been broken.

Once my waters were popped, the next contraction was off the chart and I asked for the pool to be filled. Once I was allowed I went into the pool and was quite comfortable for about an hour using up breathing and the gas an air. Joby was on the side of the pool giving me the gas and air, feeding me jelly babies and ensuring I stayed hydrated (definitely recommend getting a water bottle with a straw). Once I started getting towards the transition stage I started to panic and asked for an epidural, but Lisa and Joby were really good at helping me get through each contraction, and the thought of leaving the pool and having to stay still completely put me off. I think Lisa knew that I didn't really have time for the epidural at this point but didn't want to panic me. I soon felt that I needed to push, and I appreciate that Lisa trusted my instinct rather than examining me allowing me to stay in the zone.

I found the pushing stage to be really empowering and no longer wanted the gas and air but instead just wanted to concentrate on pushing. Last time I had had pethadine and was so tired that I didn't feel any sense of instinct. I didn't feel him coming down or the overwhelming sense to push, like I felt this time. I felt a crazy amount of pressure on my hips and could feel his head coming down and then slowly back up again. Lisa was excellent at explaining everything that was happening to Joby, which helped him to keep calm. She even encouraged him to eat my dinner that had been delivered, a totally different experience for him to last time. Him being so happy and relaxed definitely put me at ease.

Before we knew it baby’s head was out and with the next push he was here and the midwife passed him to me between my legs.

After my last birth I didn't understand how people could instantly recover from their birth and focus completely on their baby, or how they could say that the birth was the best day of their life, but after this time I completely get it and I even had a little cry a few days later when the ultimate super woman feeling and the memories of the birth started to fade away.

Once I was diagnosed with obstetric cholestasis and was told I was now consultant led I thought my hands off birth was slipping away. The need to be in control came from feeling that I had no control in the last birth, but with the help from my incredible midwife Rach, who gave me all the information and confidence to make informed decisions and Lisa who was so calm but also had faith in me to let my body do its thing I had a completely different experience from last time.

Seeing Joby so relaxed and excited about the experience made me feel 100% safe, as he went into this birth with some trepidation after being left quite shaken after our first. He was by my side the whole week in the build up and had to talk me through a few wobbles, even though I'm sure in his head he also thought history was repeating itself, but it didn't! Whilst it wasn't the home birth I planned, I couldn't have asked for a better birth, and only look back with positivity. My gorgegorgeous boy is now nearly 6 months old and totally obseesed with his older brother. I love watching them make each other laugh in the back of the car.

The PBC was a fantastic resource in helping me to understand what elements of the birth I could control, and understanding the physiological changes happening, so thank you for making such an empowering and accessible resource.