I was introduced to Hypnobirthing while expecting my first baby in 2018 when I read the book, ‘Hypnobirthing, The Mongan Method’ by Marie F. Mongan. I watched some Youtube videos from the Positive Birth Company and I did benefit a lot from certain techniques like upbreathing during my long labor. I had a long latent phase with three days of nonstop surges and 27 hours long active labor on top of it. I managed without an epidural and felt like I was an active decision maker, yet there was still a lot more I could have done to be even more prepared. I still wanted to experience a natural, completely drug-free birth and especially a water birth - a birth I aimed towards for the first time but got panicked in the tub when going into transition.

In the beginning of my second pregnancy I decided to do everything I could for a positive birthing experience. I hiked and did prenatal yoga, had a massage regularly and treated my lower back issues with a chiropractor and an osteopath. I took squatting as my evening routine throughout my pregnancy and added forward leaning inversion and pelvic tilts to my daily tasks as the weeks went by. There was not a lot of information available about hypnobirthing in Finnish, so me and my boyfriend completed the Digital pack around 25 weeks pregnant. I listened to the mp3s almost daily and tried my best to create a positive bubble for the last months of pregnancy. I even decided not to tell my due date to anyone except my mother so I would avoid the stress of too many inquisitive questions during the final weeks.

I was feeling physically well until the last weeks and was expecting to give birth past my due date since my first birth happened at 41+2 weeks. Therefore I was surprisingly relaxed when my due date went by. At 41+2 I finally had some inconsistent surges through the day and I tried my best to ignore them. In the same Sunday evening surges got stronger and suddenly came every 5 minutes for several hours. I was excited but postponed taking things seriously due to my experience with a long latent phase (prodromal labor).

Luckily, I was mentally prepared. I had surges every 5-10 minutes for most of the days until Wednesday. I had a check up appointment at the hospital that morning since I was already 41+5 weeks pregnant. I was 3cm dilated, almost completely effaced and the cervix was soft. The doctor was ready to induce but agreed that I could very well wait until the next day if that's what I wanted. We went back home, I took a nap and walked some stairs. First time during the whole week the surges were gone and I rested, anxiously waiting for the induction next morning.

Around 8 am my mother came to our home to be with our 3-year-old and we drove to the hospital a few hours later. I was not feeling confident. In fact I felt quite defeated. I was GBS positive so I was going to get IV antibiotics. I was afraid it was going to restrict my movement. Also the need to induce with oxytocin was my least favorite thing and I wanted to avoid it if I could. I was worried it would lead to an epidural more easily and the drip itself would make me unable to aim for a water birth.

I was tired after prodromal labor ruining my sleep for most of the week - I got a few hours of sleep every night in 5-10 minute intervals when I woke up to press the boost button of my TENS machine at the beginning of each surge. I thought I was facing another long labor with intense, hard-to-cope-with surges and a difficult transition like with my first.

The doctor suggested rupturing the membranes as the most natural way of inducing labor. In the previous appointment the day before this option was discussed and allthough nothing was decided, I understood that due to being GBS positive the oxytocin drip would have been the doctor's choice. I was so relieved the doctor I had now looked at things from a different perspective. Since baby's head was so close to the membranes, she even used the scalp electrode to break my waters without attaching it to the baby so she could be more gentle and avoid scratching the baby with the actual instrument. I got the cannula ready for the antibiotics, got monitored and in half an hour it was all done and I could move normally afterwards. We went for a walk in the hospital to make my surges stronger and after half an hour of walking, I had already had 5 surges. When we got to the room the midwife explained we could wait two hours for contractions to start getting stronger before the oxytocin drip. In fifteen minutes she said it's unlikely I need it, since now surges were coming every 5 minutes.

About twenty minutes later it was time for our midwife to go home and we met the midwife working in the evening shift. We had a lovely midwife student almost ready with her studies with us and another midwife, who was officially in charge, even though the student midwife was completely capable of independent work. We talked about my birth plan and how I hoped for a natural, drug-free birth with the option for water birth if things go well. We discussed how I don't want to be offered any medical pain relief unless it's the best for baby's or my own health. I told them I would ask something if needed.

Things progressed quickly and it was getting harder to surf the surges with TENS, a birth ball and upbreathing. My boyfriend pressed cold towel on my forehead during each surge and gave me water and juice. Soon the midwife suggested that it would be a good time to move to the tub if I feel like it and I decided to go to the toilet to empty my bladder one more time. I got three surges during my rather short toilet visit and noticed things were definitely moving on faster than with my first baby.

I got to the tub and the relief was instant. Surges were getting stronger but felt softer. I was on all fours, resting my head against the side of the tub. During each surge I used upbreathing and when things got more intense, I counted to four while inhaling and started to make a mmmm-sound as I exhaled. "Pressure not pain" gave me huge relief and when surges got stronger and stronger, I felt the need to hold my boyfriend's hand with full force. I changed to holding his hand to pressing a comb and it was amazing! It took my thoughts from the pressure and squeezing the comb made me able to do something active with still being able to relax all my other muscles except my hand and arm.

I noticed myself thinking how this is getting challenging and how either pain relief or moving out of the pool - some kind of an escape - would sound tempting. I still wasn't losing control or thinking I want to go home and cancel having a baby like I did with my first. I thought, this could be a very mild version of the desperation in transition. Soon I began to shiver very lightly. Definitely transition, but just a nicer version of it! With my first baby transition was scary. Back then I lost all control, it was uncontrollable shaking instead of shivers and I sure wasn't expecting to throw up, so I got panicky when I started to vomit between surges. This time I knew how my body reacts and wasn't surprised when I began to feel nauseous. It went away a few times with peppermint essential oil and when it came back with a full force, I managed to stay relaxed and fear free despite throwing up around 5 times. Soon I felt the urge to push and my boyfriend asked for the midwife go come back to the room, since majority of the time it was just me and him.

I had asked not to be checked "just for fun" unless there's a valid reason or a decision to be made where my dilation plays a crucial role. Feeling the need to push was one and I happily agreed to a check. I was 8 cm dilated and I was so relieved - I got this far this easily and I can definitely do this without an epidural. Only the last couple of centimeters left and it was time for the second stage of labor, which I found the easiest with my first.

There were several times when the monitor didn't show baby's heartrate properly so they needed to put the fetal scalp electrode for the baby. I was happy with that since it allowed me to stay in the pool. I experienced one surge out of the pool during this phase of labor when I already felt the need to push. This was while I went to empty my bladder and it was so much harder than in the water. It took all my mental and physical strength to climb out of the pool, quickly throw some towels over myself to stay warm and sit on the toilet. It was the most difficult surge during whole labor, so I was definitely not coming out of the pool before the baby's out.

For 1 hours and 40 minutes (which thank goodness felt like fifteen minutes thanks to losing track of time in labor) I was feeling the urge to push but there was still a cervical lip left. The midwife massaged the lip when I had a surge and suggested different positions in the water to help the lip to get out of the way. This was the most challenging part so far and "I can do anything for 60 seconds" was my number one thought during that time. Around this time I needed a second dose of the antibiotics. It was put straight into the cannula with a syringe within a minute or two so it didn't require any effort from me. I also didn't need to get out from the tub to receive the antibiotics. I rested my hands on top of the side of the pool and the midwife gave me the antibiotics in between two surges.

After the lip was gone I felt nothing. No surges, no pressure in the same amount and zero uncomfortable sensations. I was on all fours again, my boyfriend massaging my head and I got this beautiful resting phase after transition. The midwife told me I can now breath the baby down when I feel like it and told me to listen to my body. I kept thinking how weird it is, that I feel nothing and yet I'm giving birth. I imagined the baby smoothly moving through my birth canal and tried to release the what ifs that came to my mind about the possibility of the "pushing stage" lasting way longer than last time. With my first it was only 9 minutes, so I knew I had had it easy.

The pressure got stronger and felt lower and lower in my pelvis and lower back. Soon I felt it in my butt and vagina. I was still able to talk to my boyfriend and we joked about the final guesses of if we're gonna have a boy or a girl. I was definitely in my own bubble but still completely aware of things happening around me. It was amazing to be able to be so present in such an intensive moment. Following my instincts but being able to keep my thoughts together, to make decisions and ask questions if needed.

All of a sudden I felt my body push without me doing anything. A loud deep roar came from me and later my boyfriend said I sounded wild - not like myself or not like a human. I felt the baby move down with a force and my body expelling the baby (as well as emptying my bowels) involuntarily. Another one of these Fetal Ejection Reflexes happened and I heard the midwife student asking the supervising midwife to come to the room.

Baby's heartrate dropped so much, that the supervising midwife told me I need to change position and push instead of breathing down. Baby needed to be delivered quickly. I pushed three times, within two surges, and the head was crowning. I didn't feel any burning or discomfort, just an enormous amount of stretching. The midwife told me that there's no need to push anymore and I breathed through the stretching sensations. With the next surge my body pushed the head out and I heard the sounds of the midwives and my boyfriend being amazed. The baby was born in the spot light in the water in the otherwise dark room.

I had zero pain and could talk and relax while waiting for the next surge. My boyfriend took a picture of me while we were waiting for the last surge. My body pushed again without me doing anything and baby's body was out as well. I caught my baby myself from under the water and lifted him to my chest.I was wheeled to the birthing suite (the tub was in a separate room). We got delayed cord clamping, dad got to cut the cord while I was watching and the placenta was born in 14 minutes naturally without any oxytocin.

We had undisturbed skin to skin for 2 hours while the baby was allowed to breast crawl and find the nipple by himself. Yes, we got a boy! I was so overwhelmed about a quick delivery and a birth free from excruciating pain and losing control, that I didn't even realise our surprise was no longer a surprise to other people in the room. I was already back to the birthing suite before I took a look under all the towels we were covered up in and found out we had a boy.

After two hours spent skin to skin dad continued skin to skin with the baby while I took a warm shower. Afterwards we got coffee, tea, alcohol free sparkling wine from a local winery and some sandwiches. The whole birth was only 4 hours long and I can't believe I did it without any medication and yet it wasn't too hard or painful. I have never been more in tune with my body and felt more powerful and confident as I felt during this birth.

Two of my worries while pregnant were induction and IV antibiotics during birth and I'm so happy none of these affected my experience in any way negative.

Hypnobirthing and the Digital pack made my empowering, healing birthing experience possible. Despite the lack of hypnobirthing related literature in my native language I'm grateful for having a positive birth in a country where birth is seen and respected as a natural process. I'm also a big fan of midwife-led care we have here. I gave birth in one of the five University hospitals of Finland and couldn't be more happy.

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