Birth story - Gemma and baby Annabel

My first child was born via an induction at 40+11 and it was not a pleasant experience (thanks to this pack I now know why). I was induced due to reduced movements and when he was born he was unable to breath on his own. He was later diagnosed with neonatal meningitis.

After getting pregnant for a second time I really wanted wanted my second birth experience to be different and I looked into hypnobirthing but I couldn't find an affordable course in my area and had no childcare either. Luckily I went into spontaneous labour this time and she was born on her due date! The experience was overall positive but I did fail to progress at one point and my waters had to be broken by the doctor. She was then classed as small for gestational age.

This time around I knew that this baby was going to be my last and I really wanted a true positive experience of birth. Someone on a Facebook group recommend the online pack and I got my husband to buy it for me as a Christmas present. I really enjoyed the videos and watched them all with my husband. He seemed very unconvinced at first but gradually came round to it the more videos he watched. As my second was small for gestational age I had lots of extra scans to check on growth. The scans showed the growth rate decreasing at a couple of points but luckily it picked up again. This caused lots of extra stress and I felt like I couldn't truly prepare for birth as I felt like the consultant would be pushing me for an early induction. However my 39 week scan showed a large leap in growth and I was discharged back to the community midwife. I felt relieved that I would be able to, hopefully, get the birth I wanted and luckily my midwife agreed.

She was incredibly supportive when I saw her at around 40+4 and said I didn't want to book an induction yet and I refused a sweep. She also went through my birth preferences (I had only seen consultants since 20 weeks and was never asked about it) she was really on board with what I wanted for the birth which was a massive relief after my whole experience had been so medicalised so far.

I was really hoping I would go into spontaneous labour around my due date like my second but that came and passed. I kept reminding myself that ‘my baby will come when my baby is ready’ but I had lots of people tell me how they couldn't believe I was still pregnant and I started getting incredibly fed up. I had been having signs of labour for a couple of weeks but it never led to anything.

On the Tuesday I had a very relaxing morning while my two others were at PreSchool and walked to pick them up. We came home and snuggled on the sofa all together and watched some children's TV. My oldest was desperate to go out so we walked down to our local garden centre and spent ages looking at the pets and had drinks in the café. My husband was late home from work and once they were in bed I had time for a nice relaxing shower and we then spent the rest of the evening snuggled on the sofa.

At 12:45 I woke up thinking, ‘is that a surge or Braxton Hicks?’ The surges continued to come but they were all in my back so I wasn't to sure if they were real. I tried to sleep between the surges but it didn't really work. About two o'clock I woke my husband up to say that I was having surges around every 7 minutes but thought it was a long way off yet. I did get him to help put my tens machine on before he went back to sleep. The tens machine brought instant relief from the back pain I was getting during the surges and combined with my up breathing I felt really relaxed. I was also reading through a list of birth affirmations which I found really helped me stay calm and in control. The surges then suddenly jumped to every 4-5 minutes.

I was going along comfortably, and when my second child woke up I sent my husband to her. This caused quite a lot of stress as she is very attached to me and normally rejects anyone else. I could hear her screaming ‘I want mummy’ through the monitor so I turned that off and found something to watch on tv to distract myself. I ended up watching a program about exploring Greenland. I had planned some great oxytocin building things to watch but I assumed I had loads of time to watch them a bit later when my husband was asleep. My husband came back about half an hour later when our daughter was finally back to sleep and pointed out that my surges were now coming every 3 minutes. I was managing perfectly well and pretty engrossed in the program I was watching. He insisted that it was time to call my mum over to look our other children and then call the hospital. My mum lives about an hour and a half away but the journey is very dependent on the M25. I was still quite reluctant to call her as it was still the middle of the night and I didn't want to disturb her but my husband insisted it was time. My husband also called the hospital. They said as I could only feel the surges in my back I should have a bath and call back in an hour and a half. I really wanted to finish watching the program so I watched the last half an hour and then agreed to have a bath. At this point my husband proved he had been paying attention to the videos and cleared out all the toys and children's things out of the bathroom and filled it with some of my battery candles (the only point they got used). I reluctantly took off the tens machine and got into the bath.

I absolutely hated it. At first I thought it was because there wasn't enough water but adding more didn't help so I got out after only a couple of surges. I also started thinking negative thoughts. I realised as I got out the bath that I might be going through the transition at this point but I didn't want to believe it as I hadn't been in labour that long (about four hours at this point). I did really start to panic here as I instinctively knew I should have been at the hospital but my mum wasn't here yet.

Amazingly I managed to get dressed and get downstairs and she was here. It only took her an hour to get around including the M25! As soon as she arrived we were in the car heading to the hospital. It was at this point I felt the surges change and started to involuntary push. I think the sudden realisation that this baby was coming and I was in the car lead me to lose my calm. I found the position in the car very unnatural and just wanted to get out. I distinctly remember shouting at my husband to drive faster when we were stopped at traffic lights. Luckily we live quite close to the hospital and we were there in less than ten minutes. I don't think my husband really realised how close the baby was and took his time parking and then decided to call the birthing unit from the carpark. I just walked off from him. To be fair I was still thinking that I might not be in established labour (not sure why I thought this considering I could feel the baby moving down) and was going to be sent home so we left the bags in the car. We arrived and were sent to the triage room while they found my consultant notes. The midwife heard one surge from the desk and immediately moved me to the closest room. I have no clue if this was on the midwife led unit or the labour ward but at this point I didn't care, it had meant a lot to me before but not in the moment!

My husband helped me take my trousers off and I hopped on the bed leaning over the headboard. I could definitely feel my body relax after being stressed in the car and then my waters immediately broke and I could really feel the baby moving down with each surge. The midwife offered gas and air which I gladly accepted. Within a couple of surges the baby was crowning and then here. She was born 15 minutes after we entered the carpark And 5 hours after waking up with mild surges! She was placed on my chest and I definitely felt in shock. I can't really remember what happened next I think that was due to the shock. I must have delivered the placenta and found out she was a girl. I hadn't even got round to giving my birth preferences to the midwife but according to my husband we had delayed cord clamping and lots of skin to skin. It was still worth writing the birth preferences as it made us have a discussion about what we wanted and my husband was able to request it for me.

I had a second degree tear again (had one each time, definitely nothing to worry about) so I was stitched up and as we had left all our things in the car someone found us a hat and a nappy for our baby and she was wrapped up in towels. After this we were pretty much left alone and I managed to establish breastfeeding. Because of the complications with my son they wanted us to have the pediatric check before going home so I had a shower and we were transferred to the ward. We pretty much spent the day cuddling our baby and waiting. We got home around 4pm and introduced Annabel to our other children.

I found the digital pack highly valuable and definitely would not have been so calm throughout the early labour as I was. I was determined to stay at home as long as possible, probably because it is where I feel the most relaxed, but on reflection we probably should have gone in a bit earlier. I also had been practicing my up and down breathing a lot but I should have practiced with my husband as I kept asking him for support but he was surprisingly clueless. I also completely forgot about my down breathing when the time came to it, I wish he reminded me about it. We never got around to using our playlist, never got the room spray out or dimmed the lights once we arrived at hospital. But I actually spent most of my labour in my bed in a dark room and nowhere is more relaxing than the comfort of my own bedroom. I am really happy that I had what I feel was an overall very positive birth and I am really enjoying life as a family of five, but it does have its challenges.