Birth story - Amy and baby Lena

*Trigger Warning* - use of the word contraction, long early labour, blood in my waters, worries about baby's heart rate, episiotomy, forceps delivery, Postpartum Hemorrhage

--- Pregnancy ---

I was really lucky to have a very straightforward low-risk pregnancy. Very minimal nausea for a week or two but no sickness at all, no aches or pains and generally felt great throughout. This meant that I was able to continue with my usual 3-4 spin classes per week until I reached 37 weeks, which I definitely think contributed to a super speedy postpartum recovery!

--- Labour & Birth ---

At 39+2, on a Sunday, I woke up feeling a bit tired and unmotivated. I dragged myself to do the weekly food shop and just felt heavy and exhausted which I hadn't felt really during the pregnancy. At around 9pm that night whilst watching Love Island (for the oxytocin, of course ), I started feeling some mild lower back aches. I didn't tell my husband right away, as I wasn't sure if they were contractions or not, but I kept an eye on them throughout the evening and they did seem to be occurring every 12 minutes or so. I let my husband know, although obviously reassured him that it was very early stages. I slept reasonably well, although did keep waking up throughout the night with the mild contractions which were very irregular and occurring between every 8 and 14 minutes. I used the Freya app to log them.

The next day, things felt a little bit more intense but still bearable. The contractions were occurring more frequently but were still very irregular - sometimes occurring every 4 minutes but then occasionally going 10-20 minutes without any. I started using up-breathing to get through each contraction as I was starting to find them more painful. My husband started making us sandwiches for the hospital and packing his bag (funny in hindsight!). I tried to rest and nap between contractions as much as possible as I wondered whether today would be the day (spoiler alert: it wasn't!).

The next TWO DAYS were very much the same. I lost large amounts of mucus plug during that time and had a 'bloody show'. The contractions were still just as irregular, on average every 8 minutes and I was starting to worry that they were slowing down. However, they gradually intensified and they were lasting between 90 seconds and 2 minutes. By Wednesday, I was getting through each contraction by getting on all fours on my bed, pressing my forehead down into a pillow and using my up-breathing and Freya guided relaxation tracks. I had planned to use my birth ball but found it unbearably painful to sit down during contractions. I was starting to lose my mind a bit by this point and became quite emotional after several days of next to no sleep. My husband was working from home but decided to cancel his meetings as I was really struggling to stay calm on my own and he had to keep reminding me of my up-breathing. He also used heavy pressure with his hand up and down my spine and lower back during contractions which really helped. He was amazing throughout labour and made sure I was hydrated, fed & as calm as possible.

We decided to ring maternity triage on Wednesday afternoon to see what they thought, as although my contractions were still very irregular, they were extremely intense and long in duration and I was struggling with exhaustion. During the phonecall they said it was likely I was still in very early labour and to take some paracetamol and have a bath. Unfortunately I had already tried both that day with no success! I felt really disheartened at this point that things weren't progressing.

That evening, contractions were occurring every 8 minutes still but again were even more intensity. I was making some very interesting noises (sorry neighbours) and was almost inconsolable at one point. Then with one particularly intense contraction at around 7:30pm, my waters broke in a huge gush on the bed. The relief was instant, I felt so great! I went to grab a shower whilst my husband cleaned up but got another contraction just a couple of minutes later. Another gush of fluid (thankfully in the shower this time) but there was also some bright red blood. My husband called maternity triage again, and they told us to come up to the labour ward for an examination. They told us to leave our car seat and hospital bags at home (fortunately we didn't listen!).

On the 20 minute car journey over to the hospital, I was having contractions every 3-4 minutes but they felt more bearable since my waters had broke. We waited in the waiting area to be examined for around 20 minutes but it felt like much longer as I was finding it very painful to be sat in a hard plastic chair. No one else in the waiting area seemed to be in labour, but I was having contractions every 2-3 minutes by this point and with each one more amniotic fluid was gushing out. I remember feeling so embarrassed Again, up-breathing was so key in that moment and allowed me to stay calm and quiet. Finally I was called in to be examined - the midwife wanted to check my maternity pad to check my waters had gone, and also requested me to do a lateral flow test and a PCR test. I was really struggling to do anything as the contractions were every 2 minutes and each one was lasting over a minute! The examination was quite rough and I'd say that hurt more than any other part of the labour. Anyway, it turns out I was 7cm dilated! The midwife was very surprised as I think she had assumed I was just being a little bit dramatic! She told me that I should be admitted to the labour ward there and then. I was so disappointed as I had planned to have a water birth in the midwife led unit but as this was in a separate hospital it would have been impractical for me to transfer. However, hypnobirthing techniques helped me to change my mindset and I told myself that I could still have a positive and empowering birth no matter where I was!

I was so fortunate to receive the only room with a birthing pool on the labour ward, which was incredible. The lights were dimmed, fake candles were on and the pool was filled. The midwife and trainee midwife I had were amazing and paid such careful attention to my birth preferences throughout. I used gas and air in the pool for a couple of hours during contractions and I was managing well. Unfortunately at around 3am it became evident that the external monitor wasn't working very well in the pool and they kept losing the baby's heart beat, and I had to get out of the pool and lie on a bed whilst they tried to fit an internal monitor. At this point I was 8-9cm. They struggled to attach the internal monitor as baby had too much hair so they said I needed to stay out of the pool for a period of external monitoring. I was gutted but used my BRAIN and deduced this was the safest option for baby. Without the pool for pain relief, and due to the fact they could only access the baby's heart rate whilst I was in a lying down position, I was really struggling with the contractions and requested pethidine. This wasn't in my plan, but I was exhausted and needed some relief. It didn't help with the pain but it did help to calm me down between contractions and by 5am I had got to 10cm dilated and felt the urge to push. After pushing for a little while, nothing was really happening and they were still worried about baby's heart rate. They advised that I may need some assistance to birth baby so they got the obstetrician in who discussed forcep delivery with us, and failing that, a c-section. She was so lovely and spoke to us in a really calm and considerate way. I was gutted but again, used my BRAIN and by that point was so tired and desperate to meet baby so I agreed. I was rushed to theatre, had a spinal block followed by an episiotomy and forceps delivery and then suddenly on Thursday morning at 5:56am my beautiful baby girl arrived into the world.

Unfortunately they were not able to do delayed cord clamping, and I needed the injection to deliver the placenta as I had a PPH (on the milder end of things, I felt completely fine). I had my baby on my chest so I couldn't have cared less about anything else in the world at that point! Baby latched onto my husband when they did skin-to-skin so she was quickly passed back over to me where she then had a 40 minute feed! Baby was perfect and healthy and happy which was my main concern. Fortunately, my postpartum recovery has been super speedy and uncomplicated. I had my placenta encapsulated and I think this played a really positive role in my recovery process!

Whenever I tell people about my birth, they look absolutely horrified. But I am quick to tell them that although my birth didn't go exactly to plan, I honestly feel SO extremely positive about the whole thing and I absolutely know that is due to the PBC course - the up-breathing for pain relief during a very long early labour, the Freya app for the guided relaxation and using my BRAIN during some of the trickier moments towards the end... I felt so extremely empowered and positive and proud of myself. I am already recommending the PBC digital pack to every pregnant person I know!

I wanted to share my story as I want to reassure mamas that even if you have a more medicalised birth than you anticipated, it can still be an amazing and positive experience.